the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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