I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.