1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner