just tell him i said nine months
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
