On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
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