I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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