I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
