and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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