Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize