WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
