Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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