from now on my penis is your penis
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
