is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
