Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
