I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
