He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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