so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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