This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
