I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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