WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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