Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
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I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize