party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh god it's open bar.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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