Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
