he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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