I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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