I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize