You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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