Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
