My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize