If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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