hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
