I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
