Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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