that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
