I'm jealous of your bromance
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
