addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
