OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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