Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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