but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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