She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
