white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
