you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
