If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
