Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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