I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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