I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
