This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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