You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
