this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
