look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
