you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
