My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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