This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
A bitchslap is in order.
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