he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
