the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
