1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
