After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
