Need sex. Gaining weight.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
