Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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