She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
