how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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