Little spoons don't ask big questions
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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